(Matt) Do you think this is going to be the most terrible Christmas we’ve ever had? (Ryan) Well, the lockdown, the fact that we cant go to the pub… Its not looking good (John) Well don’t be so sure lads… I can think of a more terrible Christmas…. VERSE 1 (John) Once upon a christmas time Matt poured me out some ice cold wine But it was cold mulled wine and the sign of A terrible Christmas (Matt) And then Ryan came round we said "the gangs all here" He opened up a bottle of eggnog beer And we all agreed beer should taste like beer. At Christmas CHORUS 1 Christmas! (Matt) Some carollers came round Terrible Christmas! (Ryan) They made a terrible sound Terrible Christmas! (John) And we awkwardly stood around at Christmas! (Ryan) do we have to pay 'em? Christmas! (Matt) it went from bad to worse Terrible Christmas! (Ryan) Is it possible for a year to be cursed? TerribleChristmas! (John) And that was the start of our first worst Christmas! VERSE 2 (Ryan) I said "I know lets take the sleigh And head out to the snowy hills to play And have a stereotypical Christmas day At Christmas" (Matt) I said "Ryan that is such cute idea Like a tiny little sneeze from a baby deer But this is central London and it just rains here At Christmas’ CHORUS 2 Christmas! (Matt) When its wet and cold Christmas! (Ryan) I just feel sad and old Terrible Christmas! (John) and I just wanna look at my phone At Christmas Christmas! (John) That turkeys pink inside Terrible Christmas! (Matt) At least it's not too dry Terrible Christmas! (Ryan) But I don’t want to die At Christmas BREAK DOWN (John) Then the evening turned so dark And we took turns playing charades But I had written mine down on playing cards So Matt was trying to mime the 9 of hearts (Matt) Eventually we just gave up Hungry, sober and fed up And thats the story of the year we messed christmas up (Ryan) But this christmas… oh my god its got to,GOT TO BE A WIND UP! CHORUS 3 Christmas! (Matt) It's been a teribe year Terrible Christmas! (John) Other Humanitarian crisis don’t come near Terrible Christmas! (Ryan) I can't stop crying tears At Christmas! Christmas! (Matt) Just when you think its bad Terible Christmas! (John) You get a zoom call from mum and dad Terrible Christmas! (Ryan) They see your Christmas dner's a kebab Kebab Christmas! OUTRO SECTION (John) So this Christmas! I hang a mask on the christmas tree Christmas! (Matt) Is santa going to socially distance from me? Terrible Christmas! Is he a super spreader? PROBABLY-EEE (Matt) Christmas! I hang a mask on the christmas tree Terrible Christmas! (John) Lets just pretend there was no 2020 Terrible Christmas! Let's never talk of this year again! Bye bye Christmas! (John) Terrible, terrible Christmas (Matt) Awful really (Ryan) Really bad Christmas (Matt) Merry Terrible Christmas everyone